WOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First major donation for New Think Tank came in today:

It's sort of exciting. We've all been sitting on pins and needles because it was promised several weeks ago, right when all the shit hit and the core of us that have formed New Think Tank decided to break up with what I used to simply call Think Tank. We've been sitting on pins and needles because it's our cushion until we can rebuild our old donor base -- in essence, it's enough to cover salaries and all operating expenses for the next two months. That's a lotta dough, at least from my perspective, and it's reassuring to know it's there because we've already been racking up expenses. What happens beyond that, we can only hope for the best. So far, fundraising seems to be going reasonably well, but you're never really sure until there's money in the bank, and that sometimes takes some coaxing, even after it's been promised.

But ... we're set. No one will miss a paycheck between the last one from Think Tank and the first from New Think Tank.

I'm supposed to "chat up" someone at lunch tomorrow

The lunch is for someone running for Congress (and likely to win). It's at a nice restaurant and being hosted by Other Think Tank Economist (and another actual Ph.D.! in economics ... ). A lobbyist/executive from Big Company will also be there. That's who I'm supposed to "chat up." Big Company, apparently, "would still like to play" in an area of interest to New Think Tank, "wanted to give" to Other Think Tank in the past, and is a potential donor for New Think Tank.

Think Tank Boss and Think Tank Boss's #2 have prior engagements. They're both pros at this sort of thing, but I'm not. Oh, there's plenty of "chatting up" that goes on in academe, especially at conferences, but it's different ...

... or, maybe not so different, as I'm sitting here thinking about it. In academe, you "chat up" people whom you want something from: attention, recognition, information, insight, a reference, a collaboration, a commitment. I guess the difference is that in academe, I more or less knew what I was talking about, but now I only have what I would consider a fairly superficial understanding of the issues.

So, strategy: Get the OTHER person to talk, establish a few points of common ground surrounding New Think Tank's areas of interest, suggest the possibility of working together, exchange business cards (we just got our new business cards for New Think Tank the other day!), and see if lobbyist/executive might want to set up a meeting. And then go "chat up" somebody else.

Huh. It's a actually a skill I'd like to get more practice at. It's valuable here in Crapitol City in ways that it isn't/wasn't in academe. In academe, what you know counts more. Here, it's who you know.

What's cuter than one fatass orange cat lounging on your couch?

Why, of course, TWO fatass orange cats lounging on your couch!

Lucky (left) and Hobart (right)

There's been a lot going on at work this week, as you might imagine from some previous posts, but nothing I really feel like blogging about. Nor is there any immediate post-academic griping I care to share.

The next "next" job, it seems, pretty much comes down to a a not unpleasant shifting of positions, so to speak:

There is also a next NEXT "next" job I've alluded to cagily before. Let's just say there were some interviews a few weeks ago, a phone interview before all the Think Tank shit hit the fan and an in-person interview right in the thick of it. They went well. References were checked. And now I'm waiting. I expect it'll be at least another week or two before I hear anything. I don't want to say too much about it until I know one way or the other, but if I were offered this position, it would mean leaving New Think Tank just as it is getting its feet off the ground, something I hadn't imagined would be happening when I originally applied. And it's exciting to be at the start of a new venture, even if it's one in which my role is primarily "support." Leaving wouldn't be entirely easy ...

But, if you've figured out what the whole Think Tank shitstorm was about, you might find it interesting in a truly ironic way to note that one of the people at the in-person interview was one of the lead authors of the IPCC 2007 report. The job isn't an academic one but would involve working with academics, both scientists and humanities and social sciences people. It would, likewise, be the start of a new venture, a new initiative essentially, albeit within an existing and well-established organization. And it would mean moving beyond a "support" role.

So, one way or the other, there's much to happen ahead, new ventures both here and there, wherever I end up. We'll have to wait and see.

For now, though, it's teh weeekendzzzz!! And I intend to spend a good part of it encamped peacefully wit teh kittehs ... peacefully, that is, until Hobart decides to bite Lucky on his fat ass, which he inevitably will do, and then Lucky will smack the shit out of Hobart, which he inevitably will do, and then there's a kerfluffle ... and then everybody settles down  ... until it starts all over again.

MeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Heh, no need to "deactivate" yer Facebook account if you never had one to begin with

Like, me, that is. But if you're addicted to FB and want a reason to quit, go read this piece in the New Yorker. I have no doubt I've lost a few "friends" by refusing to join in the first place -- all those people I used to communicate with by email or phone who just quit doing those things once they got on FB and cut off "friends" like me who refused to join. Heh, at least I know who my real friends are, albeit if I have fewer than I once thought I did ...

"My graduate students are unhappy"

Somebody found this blog by Googling that phrase today.

No shit, Sherlock! Yes, your graduate students are unhappy. And you're just now figuring this out? You need to go read ALL of the posts over at 100 Reasons NOT to Go to Graduate School, then go read From Grad School to Happiness and the other post-academic blogs I've linked to in my blogroll, and then you need to come back over here and read my blog from the beginning to the present (though I do give you permission to skip some of the fluffy cat posts).

One of the many things wrong with graduate school is that too many professors view their graduate students through the lens of their own experiences as graduate students and subsequent paths to professorhood. While this may give you a warmfuzzy feeling of nostalgia, it doesn't make for having honest relationships with your graduate students today and can actually be harmful to them. in terms of preparing for both academic careers and nonacademic alternatives, if you base your guidance to them on the way things worked for you 30 years ago.

Case in point: A professor I had in graduate school used to frequently mention to us graduate students how ze had spent several years working in advertising before deciding to go to graduate school and pursue becoming a professor. Ze was fond of telling us how easy it was, as a newly graduated B.A. in English, to get hired as a copywriter for an ad agency, how ze came up with successful campaigns (one slogan is still being used by the client -- you'd recognize it!) , and how much money ze was making.

Ze gave all of this up because ze felt ze wanted to do something more meaningful with hir life than think up clever ways to dupe people into buying shit they didn't need. Humph. Noble aspirations, right? How many of my post-academic friends wouldn't kill for a job like this professor gave up? Luckily for hir, ze went to graduate school, "suffered" through the poverty of 6 years as a TA and adjunct cushioned by savings from the advertising job, and got hired in the early 80s onto the tenure track while still ABD.

This professor was smart and talented, but the times were different, too -- not just the academic job market but the nonacademic job market. Because today you can major in things like ... advertising (!) ... it's much harder to get hired for the kind of job ze had with a B.A. in mere English. And much, much harder if you compound your job search with the whole "overqualified/underqualified" shit us post-academics are dealing with.

So, in other words, telling graduate students they always have "other options" without encouraging them to prepare themselves for those options is disingenuous. It's you old professor types taking the narrative you've spun upon your own lives to explain the circumstances of your successful careers and comfortable lives and imposing it on the lives and careers of your graduate students. It's irresponsible to do so. Stop it!

Yes, your graduate students are responsible for making the decision to postpone money-making career objectives for the "life of the mind," but they also look up to you with somewhat rose-colored lenses, respect you, and seek to emulate you. A few years into the Ph.D. program, when their reality starts to bump up against the rosier narratives you represent, yes, they tend to get goddamned unhappy -- not to mention stressed about how they've fucked up their futures, frustrated by their increasingly limited options, depressed by their poverty, and generally messed up by the mindfuck that is graduate school.

And I'm telling you this as someone who basically, in a lot of ways, liked academe and wished I could have found a way to stay. You owe it to yourself to understand WHY your graduate students are so unhappy, and, if you care about the mentorship aspect of your job as a professor, you owe it to your students to help them figure out sustainable ways to cope with the realities of what academe has today become.

What's Been Going On

Hardly seems like a week's gone by since my TGIF post, and now it's already almost time for another one!

So, what's been going on this week? Well, today things have quieted down a bit, but that's mostly because some of the things I need to do in terms of New Think Tank set-up depend upon things Lawyer, Accountant, and Landlord must do first. In particular, Lawyer needs to complete Fancy Paperwork to make sure our EIN (IRS employer identification number) is properly under New Think Tank's name. Long story short, instead of getting a new EIN, we're taking over one that belongs to a dormant organization because that saves us several steps and a lot of time and effort applying for nonprofit status as a totally new organization. We need this number for all sorts of things related to set-up, and, given the abrupt nature of our departure from Think Tank, the sooner we have it the better. The ball is in Lawyer's court, so to speak.

Here's a run-down of what the rest of the week's been like:

• On Monday, we got our @NEWthinktank.org email set up and approved designs for our logo and website. I talked to a bunch of CPAs about what they could offer in terms of accounting and payroll and circulated tax forms for everyone to fill out (which, as of today, almost everyone has returned).
• On Tuesday, I talked with the CPA we've decided to go ahead with about a timeline for getting everything in order so that we don't miss a paycheck after the last one from Think Tank -- especially important because I am doubtful we will actually get that last paycheck, which is supposed to include unused vacation pay, too. The severance from Think Tank ended up being a "gentleman's agreement" between Think Tank Boss and Think Tank Boss's Boss (a.k.a. Delusional Lunatic) rather than a legally binding agreement. This "gentleman's agreement" included expense reimbursement, as well as pay, through the end of this month, but Think Tank has already refused to reimburse expenses for us this week. They also have not paid our mobile phone bill, which was due a few days ago. They claim they don't have the funds, which may be true, but that doesn't bode well for getting paid ...
• Later on Tuesday, Think Tank Boss, Coworker, and myself went to the bank and opened a small business account for New Think Tank.
• On Wednesday, we invoiced Large Donor for ... a six-figure sum. This amount is supposed to cover New Think Tank's operating costs, including salaries and rent, for 2 months. Large Donor has already verbally promised to support us in this amount, and we are expecting a check or wire transfer within the next few days. It is almost certain we will have other donations coming in long before the end of these first 2 months (essentially by the end of July), but it feels a little like walking on thin ice, not knowing where your salary is going to come from 2 months down the line.
• Later on Wednesday, I talked to Landlord about having the office lease transferred from Think Tank to New Think Tank. This shouldn't be a problem, but Landlord is a bit of a space case and tends towards the absent-minded and careless (who in their right mind would otherwise neglect putting a recycling bin out for the building for so long that they accrued multiple fines from the city?). The lease issue will be resolved but probably not without several more phone calls and some nagging on my part.
• Today (Thursday) we ordered business cards, and I tried to get our mobile phones, office phone/internet, and electric bill transferred to new accounts under our new EIN. I didn't think this would be possible until Lawyer had finished with Fancy Paperwork, but I figured it was worth a try. Turns out I was right and we'll have to wait for Lawyer. At least I got the billing addresses changed to New Think Tank. Since Think Tank, despite the "gentleman's agreement," is no longer paying our bills, at least our service won't be interrupted ...
• Also today, we reviewed some applications for summer interns.The interns are sponsored by Infamous Foundation and farmed out to various organizations in the area. A great many of these potential interns wrote on their applications that their future goal was to become a professor -- in fields like philosophy. At the top of our list was one of the only ones who did NOT list becoming a professor as a career goal -- not because of this but largely because the other things this person said indicated ze did not have hir head up hir ass and would generally do a better job at the things we would ask hir to do. Should this be surprising?

All in all, the week before this one felt a lot like the Season 3 finale of Mad Men with the breaking off from one organization and the beginning of a new one in a fly-by-night sort of crazy frenzy -- down to the stealing of contacts (crucially important to an organization like this, about as important as accounts for an ad agency like Sterling Cooper Draper Price) out of the online system before Think Tank changed the password.

This week, let's just say the ship has sailed:

Via

As a thank-you gift to Large Donor, we are having a caricature artist draw us as pirates. At the top of the drawing, a banner will say "Thank you for your support!" At the bottom, a caption will say "We still believe in pirates. Do you?"

TGIF

You know, as JC has said many times, one of the best things about leaving academe, whatever your reasons, whether you're a type 1 or type 2 leaver, is that when you leave your office in the evening and go home for the weekend, no matter how bad things have been (!!!), you are FREE, at least for a little while, to take a break and clear your head.

Y'all know CRAAAAZY doesn't even begin to describe how this week has been on many levels. But it's Friday evening. I'm going home. And I'm going to forget about all the madness for two days. Granted, last weekend, there were a few phone calls and I did say I'd be "reachable" by email but I still got to do more or less what I wanted to with most of my time. And, if you've figured out what I've been blogging about, you know that last weekend was TRULY an exception to anything resembling normal life.

Anyway, as I said, after all the drama this week, I'm heading out of the office to go enjoy my weekend. I'm going to do some yoga. Tidy up my house. Play with my cats. Go out to dinner with Peaches. Read a book. Watch a move.

And. Not. Think. About. Work.

Why? Because I don't have to. It will be waiting for me here on Monday, sure. But I don't need to think about it for now. The world is not going to end if I take a break and go live my own life for a few days.

And how many of you still running on academe's hamster wheel can say that?

"My life is not an experiment."

One of the saddest things about this whole mess I've been writing about these past few days is the degree to which Delusional Lunatic's actions have impacted Think Tank employees who had NOTHING whatsoever to do with DL's abominably stupid action, people who do not share the views that prompted it, whose work itself has nothing to do with the subject of Abominably Stupid Action, and yet who are nonetheless suffering the consequences not only in terms of their jobs being in jeopardy but in terms of their reputation. After all who would want to hire you after you worked for Delusional Lunatic? You must be a little crazy yourself. Why should we trust you?

While I think my team, ultimately, after a few tough transitional weeks/months, will land on its feet (and probably be better off in the long-run for making the break), nearly everybody in Think Tank's main office is boiling mad -- and rightfully so. DL acted (as I may or may not have mentioned before) without consulting either senior management, including my boss, or the Board of Directors. Rumor has it that ze did not do this because ze KNEW every single one of these people would have told hir NOT to do Abominably Stupid Thing. In other words, ze knew ze was playing with fire and that hir actions could have potentially far-reaching consequences, and yet ze chose not to consult the very people who would stopped hir from doing it. Those people would have recognized the risk to themselves and the rest of Think Tank's staff. Yet, it also seems fairly clear that DL recognized this risk, too, on some level. After the fallout started, DL went around saying Abominably Stupid Action was merely "an experiment" in getting the public to pay more attention to Crackpot Idea DL is committed to.

"My life is not an experiment."

That is what one of the senior managers said at a meeting DL organized earlier this week for the entire staff except my team which, of course, works in a different city (a few were participating via conference phone but not me). Apparently, afraid to criticize DL, nobody would speak up. It was uncomfortable, apparently, because everybody had been talking behind DL's back. Everybody was offended and incensed by what DL did, both because of its abominable stupidity and because it was done with so little thought for the consequences it would have for other people.

"My life is not an experiment."

Once Senior Manager said that, apparently, people opened up and let loose, When you're in a position of leadership within an organization, you don't fuck around with people's lives like that just to promote your Great Cause, whatever-the-fuck that happens to be. You don't pull stunts like this just so that you can be "controversial" or "provocative" or "outspoken." You don't put other people's reputations and livelihoods on the line for the sake of your own delusional self-aggrandizement. DLdid not apologize.

No amount of apologizing would do any good at this point, but nonetheless, in my opinion, DL personally owes an apology to the public and to the entire staff and soon-to-be former staff of Think Tank. You fucked up, dude, and delusional lunacy is NOT an excuse.

My. Life. Is. Not. An. Experiment.

In better news, we've worked out the severance agreement. Think Tank will pay us through May 31, plus whatever vacation is owed. In my case, that's 2 full weeks, so, in essence, another paycheck. We're also planning the launch of New Think Tank for June 1, and we should have all the payroll stuff worked out by early June, too, so that, ideally, no one will miss a paycheck (and mine will be significantly larger). By the terms of the agreement, we're under something of a gag rule until then, but the stories will get told in time ...

Crash Course in Accounting and Payroll

So, no real news on the severance agreement yet. Delusional Lunatic's attorney reviewed our proposal and sent a counter proposal. Then we sent back a counter proposal to the counter proposal. It's not fully or officially resolved yet, but at least we are talking and there will be some amount of severance pay (roughly a month).

In the meantime, I've been working on figuring out what it is exactly I will be doing at New Think Tank. Seems to be pretty much EVERYTHING an entire "support" staff would do. In addition to all the lesser things I've been doing all along, I will be in charge of accounting, payroll, expense tracking and reimbursement, invoicing ... it's possible we will contract payroll out to ADP or some other such service but I'd be the point of contact and responsible for tracking it in Quick Books ... We haven't worked out benefits administration yet ...

I have never done any of this stuff before.

Learning how it all works is, I suppose, worthwhile, if a bit tedious. There's also the issue of time. None of this is rocket science, but time is of the essence. We need to be up and running SOON. People get mad if they don't get paid for work or reimbursed for expenses (including me!). And if there's a fuck-up in tracking incoming and outgoing funds, that's a problem, too.

So, it's difficult and tenuous. But if everything goes according to plan, I get a big raise once the severance is complete and we're a completely new entity. And we are free of our ties to Delusional Lunatic and Toxic Brand and free to continue doing what we did before under a new name with all of the support of previous donors.

There is also the possibility that Other Possibility I alluded to in comments to the Fallout post will become reality, but that and its back story are the subject of another post. Even if it does, it wouldn't start until July, so I'd stll be doing this transition stuff while possibly looking for and training a replacement ...

The Silence Is Deafening

We have been waiting all day to find out whether the lawyers have reached a severance agreement.

No word yet. In fact, no communications at all from Delusional Lunatic's office.

Is there a psychological term for projecting onto your perceived enemies the very qualities that impair your own judgment? Projection -- yes, perhaps that's it! And paranoia, too. Everyone, clearly, is out to get Delusional Lunatic. The Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth experts, activists, and their sympathizers in the media. Oh, and wait, all your donors, supporters, and staff, too! What did you expect? Are you in touch with reality? No, it's everybody else that's out of touch with reality!!

At this point, we just want to be done with the whole mess and free to move forward. Seems like they're holding us hostage by holding up the negotiations process. If they don't like our proposal for severance, they should make a counter proposal. It's mind-boggling and maddening, but, then, we are dealing with a delusional lunatic ...

You know it's bad when ...

You know it's bad when Fox News describes something a conservative or conservative organization did as "shocking."

Yes, the thing referred to in the previous post that Delusional Lunatic did was "shocking." Only, Think Tank, collectively, has taken the blame because the public doesn't know that Delusional Lunatic was acting alone. And since Delusional Lunatic is also Think Tank's CEO (previously referred to here as Think Tank Boss's Boss), nobody is likely to find out anytime soon. People's jobs are already at risk because it's possible Think Tank will simply implode in the not too distant future. Nobody wants to get fired before that happens for pointing fingers without a solid contingency plan in place.

Hence Project Mutiny (see comments to previous post). Think Tank's "brand" has become irreparably damaged. It's not only toxic but radioactive. Donors have been pulling out en masse. Delusional Lunatic's action was what you could literally call, already, a million dollar mistake, but Delusional Lunatic isn't apologizing or acknowledging any wrong doing.

In other words, Delusional Lunatic has destroyed our capacity to raise money and do work. An apology probably wouldn't do any good anyway. The damage has already been done, and Project Mutiny is the only answer. The lawyers are still negotiating over a severance agreement, and today I will be taking care of getting tax ID numbers and other matters related to setting up New Think Tank. One major donor that withdrew from Think Tank has promised to provide New Think Tank with liquidity for the first few months while it gets on its feet.

Fallout

Dear Delusional Lunatic,

You accomplished on your own everything I had hoped to and more. When I set my sights on sabotaging your project, I never imagined things could have possibly turned out so well.

Thanks for finishing what I started. I only wish I could take credit, but you hit the self-destruct button all by your lonesome, depraved, delusional self.

Good luck screwing over your entire staff. I'm sure they deeply appreciate what you've done.

Yours truly,
Unethical Asshole

You Idiots Built It Yourselves!!

Unfortunately, I happened to be onboard:

Titanic Via

WTF were you THINKING?

It's Like ...

It's like something outta the fucken Onion. Like, if the Onion published it, it would be funny.

Only ... they didn't. You can't make this shit up ...

It's like the Sokal Affair. I mean, EVERYBODY knows gravity is socially constructed, right? Only "radical fringe" fucken SCIENTISTS would claim they can PROVE gravity is real!! And they are murderers and terrorists and communist dictators for DARING to spread such audacious falsehoods!

Oh, wait ... did I just hear somebody say the earth is flat? Crap! I think I need to get my hearing tested!!

Hey, Kids! Can You Identify the Logical Fallacy Here? Hint: There Might Even Be More Than One!!

Consider the following:

The most prominent proponents of Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth are not actually the Bubble Gum Shit Theory Experts who came up with the theory and have spent their respectable careers promoting it in public, legitimate, intelligent, ethical, and democratic ways. No. The MOST PROMINENT proponents are, in fact, Mass Murderer, Communist Dictator, and Several Radical Evil Psycho Violent Terrorists because these individuals are FAMOUS and said somewhere, at one time or another, possibly from in prison, that they believed in Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth. And, because these shithead-asshole-criminals of "questionable ethics" believe in Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth, that automatically makes said theory a "fringe" theory and undermines the validity of the consensus of all the Bubble Gum Shit Theory Experts who have been studying Bubble Gum Shit for decades.

Do you, dear reader, also still believe in Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth? Why then YOU, too, have questionable ethics. You, too, are like Mass Murderer, Communist Dictator, and Radical Evil Psycho Violent Terrorists. Oh, and let's not forget Very Stupid Bubble Gum Shit Theory Expert who did something blatantly stupid and unethical but which did NOT undermine in any way Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth per se but rather only Very Stupid Bubble Gum Shit Theory Expert's own personal integrity.

OMG. *headdesk*

It's like saying that because Very Stupid Bubble Gum Shit Theory Expert is a Stupid Shithead then, ipso facto, Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth is ITSELF stupid shitte! That is, because Stupid Shithead said X, X is false, despite overwhelming confirmation of X's validity by non shitheads, non murderers, non communist dictators, and non radical evil psycho violent terrorists -- in fact, by highly respectable, smart, educated Professor Doctor Researcher Bubble Gum Shit Theory of Planet Earth fucken EXPERTS!!

Ummm .............it's a alternative universe over here, kidz. That's about all I can say.....

Occupy My Neighborhood

No, I didn't take the day off yesterday to join Occupy DC for its May Day festivities in the park near where I live, but, on my way home, I did catch the culminating march from Malcolm X Park (near my house) to Lafayette Park (near the White House). Here they are marching down 14th Street, NW:

What was great about having the march go through this area was that it got local residents to pay attention. In downtown DC, there's always somebody protesting something. If you live here in Crapitol City long enough, you get used to seeing people walking around near the White House, the National Mall, and the Hill carrying signs and chanting about one thing or another. You get used to them, and you ignore them. But having a march through a neighborhood that is not a major tourist destination, especially when it's large enough to have a police escort and stop traffic on a busy street during rush hour, has a way of making locals look up and pay attention. My neighborhood is very diverse in terms of race, class, and ethnicity, and as I walked home and watched the Occupy marchers, I observed people from all different backgrounds, perspectives, and walks of life stopping -- on foot, in cars, on bikes -- and taking pictures and asking questions: "Who are they? Oh, that's the Occupy people! What are they doing here in our neighborhood? What are they chanting? What do their signs say? Where are they going? Why are they marching?"

And that's all good, I think. Maybe some of those people will go home, get online, talk to their friends, find out, and maybe get involved ...

Here's another view:

Funny

After reading about A Post-Academic in NYC's recent encounters with the dean at the place that could suck her like a giant vacuum back into academe, I was reminded of a certain undergrad prof I had who HATED university administrators with a vengeance. How did ze deal with these negative feelings without getting fired? Ze had pet snakes. The snakes ate live mice. Undergrad Prof named these mice before putting them into the snakes' cages ... after university administrators.

Nice, huh? Sorry about the light posting lately. I suppose I could just post random shit. Sometimes I do that anyway! But ... well, just stay tuned. Hopefully, the number of things I both want to blog about and can blog about will get back to normal soon.

Via