Just look at this:
Isn't he just the cutest? Ha! Don't be fooled!! Look at those demonic eyes. He's an evil bastard, I tell you. As Peaches was leaving for work this morning and I was just about to, SOMEBODY decided he had spring fever and made a mad dash for the door. Then this same SOMEBODY climbed the neighbors' 8 foot fence, dug holes in the garden, tried to down the bird feeder, and hissed at the neighbors' kitty watching enviously from the window. (Ironically, the neighbors put this fence up in the first place to keep the feral cats ... from digging holes in their garden and stalking the birds.)
Neither Peaches nor I could get in the yard to bring him back because there's a lock on the 8 foot tall gate and nobody was home. Eventually, the Evil Bastard wearied of the yard, dug his way out from under the fence, and bolted across the alley. Coaxing, treats, and catnip were all to no avail.
An hour went by. The Evil Bastard sang to the birds, ate grass, knocked over a trash can, scuffled with one of the ferals, and kept a minimum of 30 feet between himself and anything human.
What finally got him in?