They Are Already Asking Me to Adjunct This Fall

Yes, friends, after they stiffed me this semester and offered only 2 classes (which, if you've been following the blog from the beginning, is what finally pushed me over the edge into secretaryland), Scheduler of Adjuncts at Grad University is now e-mailing that there will be "several sections" available of Intro to Ruining Your Life by Majoring in English, a required upper-level course. This is in addition to pretty much as many sections of freshman comp as I'd be willing to take -- all of this after I bailed out a week before classes started this spring.

Right. Um. I Don't Think So.

Let's remind ourselves of why:

If I quit my secretary job to teach 4-6 classes in the fall (which would only just barely match the salary for that same period), would I have to scramble again for work in the spring with the usual drop in enrollments? Yes.

Would it be fun to teach Intro to Ruining Your Life by Majoring in English again? No. It was fun a few years ago, but, back then, it was called The Joyful Hermeneutics of Self-Delusion -- Or, Why Literary Studies Rules.

Would it be fun to teach freshman composition again? No. The students improve by the end, and they know it. That's a nice, warmfuzzy reward, but I'm done with the warmfuzzies. You can't pay your winter gas bill with warmfuzzies. Also, after teaching this class for so many years, I got pretty good at it, and I've also become pretty bored with it. If they want me to teach this, they should offer more money.

Would I teach it if they offered me more? No. Salary alone would not make up for lack of job security and lack of respect.

Would my work as an adjunct ever lead to permanent employment? No.

Even if I published my heart out while teaching 4+ classes, would I ever be eligible for promotion not to the tenure track but to -- let's say-- a three-year contract position? No, not at Grad University.

Would I ever get a raise for doing my job well? No. I didn't even get the raise I was supposed to get upon receiving the Ph.D. (don't ya love budget cuts and salary freezes?).

So, yeah, Scheduler of Adjuncts, the answer is NO.